How do I tell my sister in-law at family gatherings to stops making comments to my daughter?

Last 2 holidays at my mother in-laws house, my bother in-law's wife has made comments to my 10 year old daughter about being tall and skinny. On Easter, she was pregnant so I didn't want to show my redneck side! She told my little nephew to give my daughter a hug because she was alittle boney and during Thanksgiving she started to tell my daughter bye and told her to come give her a hug, skinny-mini. My husband did hear her the 2nd time she made comment. He's promised to say something in the future, not! My mother in-law has bad nerves, drinks wine at dinner to calm down and can't handle conflict so I didn't want to start WWIII. I've had enough! You'd think a woman that has stated that she's a strong woman, well educated wouldn't treat a child this way. I'd appreciate any good come backs. My daughter has self-esteem issues and doesn't need this from her aunt. The ole' folks would say that she acts like," Aster on a stick:. What does that mean?

How do I tell my sister in-law at family gatherings to stops making comments to my daughter?
you can say in a nice way "yup, she is tall and slim and can become a model when she is grown". then go hug your daughter as if you are soooooo proud of her. then say "she is lucky she never will have to go on a diet like the rest of us".





don't forget! SMILE sweetly while you are saying this so that she will be caught off guard.





no need to start a WWIII....all you have to do is a little sarcasm with a smile and i tell you.......that will go a long way.





remember that liv tyler was tall and skinny when she was young, so was audry hepburn, julia roberts, faith hill and shania twain....look at them now....beautiful!!!





you can always say " my baby is the liv tyler of our family". then look at your sister-in-law and say "you still haven't gone back to your old body since your baby... you know it gets harder and harder to maintain your old figure after several kids".....





of course, follow it with "i have not been able to go back to my old self, just like you".....that way she will not know if you meant it in a bad way or not.





by the way:


an aster is a flower that has a lot of florets like a daisy; dandelion; goldenrod; marigold; ragweed; sunflower; thistle; zinnia....an aster on a stick, it could mean a.flower like a marigold, something with a big round center that may represent the head and petals around (petal decorating her head) and stuck on a thin twig or stick....maybe someone with a big head and with airs? don't quote me on this cuz i am not sure!
Reply:Id be damned if i let anybody talk to my kids that way i would down her throat so bad she wouldnt dare say another thing.
Reply:I don't know what Aster on a stick means but your best bet is to confront your sister in law about her comments and how they make your daughter feel. Ask her does she entent to continue to call your daughter skinny anymore because that will draw her into a verbal contract acknowledging her boudaries. Then from there you just have to remind your daughter that people hurt others because they are hurting which is why they find the weakest one and pick on them. In essence it means they are severly jealous of the fact that they have to worry about their weight.
Reply:I do not know what "aster on a stick" is but I do know how you feel except it is my mother-in-law always making comments to my 14yr old daughter and my husband is the same as yours. What I have done is taken my mother-in-law aside and told her that I didn't want to start a war with her and I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I did tell her that I will not stand for her to mistreat my daughter even if it was with words and not intentonal. I explained to her what she was saying did hurt my daughters feelings and we both would appreciate it if she thought about things before she said the as not to hurt her grandchilds feelings. She said she wasn't trying to hurt her feelings and she would really try to watch what she said to her.
Reply:You TELL her that you do not appreciate the comments that she is making to your daughter and tell her that she has really hurt your daughter by doing so. You also inform her that you will not tolerate this anymore and then ask her does she understand or do you have to spell it out to her again. If she does it again, then it will be time to open up the whoop a@@ can.
Reply:I'd of gone off on her for talking that way about my kid and would of told her, "She wants her *** on a stick??" That's ok by me, I can stick one up her ***.
Reply:I would try to say something to the sister-in-law before the next time it happens causally. Explain to her that your daughter is approaching puberty and as that is a really confusing time, you'd appreciate it if she would not make comments about her weight or height.





Hopefully once she is aware of that, she'll change her behavior.





As for your mother-in-law, I would keep her out of the discussion, she sounds like she has enough of her own problems.